3/15/13

I had a wonderful week with my parents. They decided to stay an extra day. We went down to Kemah and couldn't find a parking spot anywhere. After 30 minutes of trying we finally decided to leave. We went to Galveston, ate lunch, parked on the sea wall and walked around. After that we went to a bass pro shop so my dad could look around. We stayed until it closed. The other days were good too. We didn't do too much, but it was nice just having them here and getting to show them around my world. Apparently this trip was the deciding factor of whether or not they are going to continue with the divorce or stay together. I hope that whatever they decide to do, it will lead to their happiness...as long as they're happy things will be fine.
For the past few days I've been having this gut feeling that I'm going to get fired today. It won't leave me either. Yesterday while I was out with my family I got a phone call from the relief society president. One of the ladies that she visit teaches said there is an opening in her office....so that kind of helps... knowing that I will be ok one way or another.
I need to get with my visiting teaching partner and set up dates to go visit our ladies. 2 of them are inactive. I know what it's like to be inactive and I have a feeling that's why I was placed with them. Hopefully I can make a good impact on them. I've never visit taught before so I'm a little nervous. I hope that I will do well and be able to help in whatever way they may need.
I'm going to be moving out of my ward soon and that makes me really sad. They are awesome. They truly are. It's funny, this is the loudest ward I have ever been in....mainly because it is full of kids under 9. I couldn't even tell you how many kids are in the ward...there are soooooo many hahaha. But anyways, it's full of the spirit. You can feel that these people are genuine and truly love the Lord. My previous ward sucked. The people there were so snobby. The other 2 wards in the building were good but that one just made you feel unwelcome like you were not good enough to be in their presence. My mom and dad feel that way too and have basically stopped going to meetings.
It's soooooo sad when you know something is true but decide that the people there make it not worth it. It's almost like, why would I purposefully surround myself with people that don't like me and treat me as if I'm inferior to them...? After a while you just stop subjecting yourself to it and whether or not you believe it's true becomes irrelevant because common sense starts kicking in and you don't put yourself in the situation any more. It's really very sad but really quite common.
I'm very grateful for Elder chollet. He was extremely persistent and very patient. He brought me back to church. Now i know what it feels like to be in a ward that cares about everyone. I know that the Lord sent the elders to me at the right time. I was at the moment of no return. I was about to fall off of the edge and never return. I had looked at soooooo many anti Mormon sites.....I was one click away from completely turning my back on my church. I had always had a small testimony even after I stopped going completely. I remember my seminary teacher, Brother Bauer, said that you never stay in one place with the gospel. You are either moving toward it or away from it. There is no grey, only black and white. You will hate it or you will love it...there is no in between. I always thought...no I am the one that is in between. Little did I know that I was indeed moving away from the gospel. I was being directed slowly but surely away from the truth. Like I said earlier, I was to the point of never looking back right before the elders came.
It was a very long process for me. I think in part because I was so far down the wrong path....it took a while to get back on track. Elder chollet later told me that after a few weeks Elder Beers didn't want to come any more because I wasn't making any progress. And technically they are only suppressed to spend so many weeks working with someone and if they show no progress you move on. But Elder chollet knew that I just needed a little bit more time. And I thank him for that. I'm thankful that Elder chollet and Elder Ririe were able to have the patience to pull me from the darkness that pushed me away. Now if only I could find a way to help Gabriel see what I know.